I am grateful that I have a cancer you can cut out and throw away. For me the whole process should be relatively uneventful, more a disruption to my daily routine and travel plans. I certainly can't complain knowing what my brother in law Ken is going through. He is such a trooper. Weeks in the hospital, the surgeries, drainings, blood clots, you name it. Then finally a correct diagnosis. He makes me realize I have no reason to complain or be concerned about my treatment.
Expectations are another thing that keeps me positive. I fully expect to have my surgery, whatever treatment will be necessary and then I'll just move on. Sometimes you have expectations that are just a given. Sometimes those expectations are exceeded.
For example, I expected my son would go to college. Never thought twice about it, that was just the way it was going to be. Now, I didn't expect he would go for eight years and end up Dr Ben Brown. He is a wonderful young man who married a wonderful young woman. They have far exceeded any expectations I could have had for them. They are young adults of superior character and I don't tell them that often enough.
Most likely this will be my last posting until after my doctor appointment on Monday. Everyone have a safe and happy weekend.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Musing
Everyone keeps telling me what a great attitude I have about this. I have two things to say to that.
One, I've always said I'm too mean to get sick. Obviously, I've softened lately or this damned thing wouldn't have wormed its way into my life.
Two, one in eight women are now diagnosed with Breast Cancer. The older you get, the greater your chances. So if I'm the first woman you know with the diagnosis, get used to it, I likely won't be the last. And here's my experience so far... the people I know who have had breast cancer, my grandma (survivor over 20 years), Mary O'Connor (survivor over 15 years), Laura Craven (survivor over 6 years), Becki Walker(Callahan)'s mom (survivor at least 10 years), Callie O'Conner (new survivor), Ann (my husband's cleaning lady) (finishing treatment). I'm sure I'll hear of more as time progresses. But in my circle EVERYONE is a SURVIVOR. There is no reason I should expect less from myself.
I am very fortunate. My husband has made it possible for me to retire early. I don't have to worry about scheduling doctor appointments or treatments. I don't have to worry about how we will pay for the treatment. If I need him to cancel a golf game to come somewhere with me he will. This removes the stress of having to deal with a disease. He is a good man and I love him for it.
Here's another thing, as my son says, when something happens to our family we just deal with it. That's what we're doing now.
More tomorrow.
One, I've always said I'm too mean to get sick. Obviously, I've softened lately or this damned thing wouldn't have wormed its way into my life.
Two, one in eight women are now diagnosed with Breast Cancer. The older you get, the greater your chances. So if I'm the first woman you know with the diagnosis, get used to it, I likely won't be the last. And here's my experience so far... the people I know who have had breast cancer, my grandma (survivor over 20 years), Mary O'Connor (survivor over 15 years), Laura Craven (survivor over 6 years), Becki Walker(Callahan)'s mom (survivor at least 10 years), Callie O'Conner (new survivor), Ann (my husband's cleaning lady) (finishing treatment). I'm sure I'll hear of more as time progresses. But in my circle EVERYONE is a SURVIVOR. There is no reason I should expect less from myself.
I am very fortunate. My husband has made it possible for me to retire early. I don't have to worry about scheduling doctor appointments or treatments. I don't have to worry about how we will pay for the treatment. If I need him to cancel a golf game to come somewhere with me he will. This removes the stress of having to deal with a disease. He is a good man and I love him for it.
Here's another thing, as my son says, when something happens to our family we just deal with it. That's what we're doing now.
More tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Next Step
I have an appointment with a surgeon on Monday, May 4. At that time I'll be able to schedule the surgery. Probably 2-4 weeks later. I'm opting for sooner rather than later.
What I do know at this time is it will be a lumpectomy, followed by radiation. Chemo will be necessary if it has entered a lymph node or is a certain type of cancer, estrogen retaining of a certain size.
The radiation is 5 times a week for 5 weeks. I guess possibly longer. Those of you that have been there will know better than I do. There is a type of radiation called Mammosite. It can only be used if the area removed is small (less than the size of a walnut) and no lymph nodes are involved. This involves a radioactive seed and is done twice a day for 5 days. That's what I'm hoping for.
Here's something I've learned. Sometimes a mastectomy is chosen because the patient can't take time from work for the daily radiation. If you have the mastectomy then radiation isn't needed. The radiation is to kill any strays that possibly weren't removed by the surgery, with a mastectomy, they're gone. Of course, in the case of multiple or large tumors there really isn't an option.
I had hoped to have already had the surgery by now so the healing process would be started, unfortunately getting a diagnosis wasn't cooperating. We have a trip scheduled to Yosemite for the first week of June and I really don't want to have to cancel it. I've been assured I most likely won't have to miss it. Guess we'll find out later.
That about covers everything I know so far.
Thanks so much for all your emails and support. As most of you know, my religious beliefs are not exactly conventional. Let there be no doubt however, I firmly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God only gives you what you can handle. My prayer is to give me and my family the strength to see this through while remaining upbeat.
What I do know at this time is it will be a lumpectomy, followed by radiation. Chemo will be necessary if it has entered a lymph node or is a certain type of cancer, estrogen retaining of a certain size.
The radiation is 5 times a week for 5 weeks. I guess possibly longer. Those of you that have been there will know better than I do. There is a type of radiation called Mammosite. It can only be used if the area removed is small (less than the size of a walnut) and no lymph nodes are involved. This involves a radioactive seed and is done twice a day for 5 days. That's what I'm hoping for.
Here's something I've learned. Sometimes a mastectomy is chosen because the patient can't take time from work for the daily radiation. If you have the mastectomy then radiation isn't needed. The radiation is to kill any strays that possibly weren't removed by the surgery, with a mastectomy, they're gone. Of course, in the case of multiple or large tumors there really isn't an option.
I had hoped to have already had the surgery by now so the healing process would be started, unfortunately getting a diagnosis wasn't cooperating. We have a trip scheduled to Yosemite for the first week of June and I really don't want to have to cancel it. I've been assured I most likely won't have to miss it. Guess we'll find out later.
That about covers everything I know so far.
Thanks so much for all your emails and support. As most of you know, my religious beliefs are not exactly conventional. Let there be no doubt however, I firmly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God only gives you what you can handle. My prayer is to give me and my family the strength to see this through while remaining upbeat.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Detection
While vacationing in New Orleans to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary my ever vigilant husband (Brownie) discovered a lump in my right breast. No big deal, something like more than 80% of lumps are noncancerous. I did however, have a mammogram the Thursday following our return home.
Then the testing began. I have spent more time in doctors offices in the last 4 weeks than the last 4 years! Waiting, waiting. Some of which because I was fortunate enough to go with my son and daughter in law to two of their ultrasounds. Thereby getting to see my granddaughter in utero. Quite exciting stuff.
After the first mammogram I got the phone call to come back for some additional tests on Tuesday. This time they did a magnified mammogram of the area and an ultrasound. The ultrasound was to determine the density of the lump. This was to rule out it being a cyst. No such luck, so I was scheduled to come back the following Tuesday.
This time I had a BSGI-Breast Specific Gamma Imaging test and an ultrasound guided core biopsy. The BSGI basically identifies "hot" spots that could be cancerous and don't show up on other tests. Mine showed only the one lump. Since the lump is so small it was difficult for the doctor to get a good biopsy. But she took three samples.
The following day Brownie and I went back to get the results and discuss treatment options. Not gonna happen. The biopsy was negative and the surgeon wouldn't operate until he knew for sure if it was malignant. So, I had another type of biopsy. Fine needle aspiration. The old fashioned kind that doesn't give them a lot of information regarding the type of cancer but will detect a malignancy.
Well, that one came back negative also. But my doctor is persistant. She's sure it's cancer so we schedule another type of biopsy. This one's a little harder on the patient, but she'll definately be able to get a good sample. She was right. Or maybe all the jabbing, poking and squashing was finally getting to me and my poor old black, blue, green, yellow with red puncture marks boob. The following day (which was last Wednesday) she called to let me know this time she got right in the center of the tumor and it was positive for breast cancer.
Needless to say, that dashed my hopes of it being a benign tumor. But I am glad she was persistant so now we can proceed with treatment. The tumor is very small, the doctor was quite complimentary regarding Brownie's ability to feel it, wondered if he'd like to come work in her office. Ha Ha
Then the testing began. I have spent more time in doctors offices in the last 4 weeks than the last 4 years! Waiting, waiting. Some of which because I was fortunate enough to go with my son and daughter in law to two of their ultrasounds. Thereby getting to see my granddaughter in utero. Quite exciting stuff.
After the first mammogram I got the phone call to come back for some additional tests on Tuesday. This time they did a magnified mammogram of the area and an ultrasound. The ultrasound was to determine the density of the lump. This was to rule out it being a cyst. No such luck, so I was scheduled to come back the following Tuesday.
This time I had a BSGI-Breast Specific Gamma Imaging test and an ultrasound guided core biopsy. The BSGI basically identifies "hot" spots that could be cancerous and don't show up on other tests. Mine showed only the one lump. Since the lump is so small it was difficult for the doctor to get a good biopsy. But she took three samples.
The following day Brownie and I went back to get the results and discuss treatment options. Not gonna happen. The biopsy was negative and the surgeon wouldn't operate until he knew for sure if it was malignant. So, I had another type of biopsy. Fine needle aspiration. The old fashioned kind that doesn't give them a lot of information regarding the type of cancer but will detect a malignancy.
Well, that one came back negative also. But my doctor is persistant. She's sure it's cancer so we schedule another type of biopsy. This one's a little harder on the patient, but she'll definately be able to get a good sample. She was right. Or maybe all the jabbing, poking and squashing was finally getting to me and my poor old black, blue, green, yellow with red puncture marks boob. The following day (which was last Wednesday) she called to let me know this time she got right in the center of the tumor and it was positive for breast cancer.
Needless to say, that dashed my hopes of it being a benign tumor. But I am glad she was persistant so now we can proceed with treatment. The tumor is very small, the doctor was quite complimentary regarding Brownie's ability to feel it, wondered if he'd like to come work in her office. Ha Ha
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Reality
I.. have .. breast.. cancer.
Wow! Four words I never thought would come from me.
I'm new to this blogging business. Some of you are experienced, please forgive my learning curve.
In the weeks to come I'll keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully, I'll also in some way educate you regarding breast cancer. It's all new to me too!
Fact number one. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death for women. Right behind skin cancer. So, you know those great tans we all love? ... forget 'em. Pale skin is healthy. But, hey, give me the baby oil and iodine! Bring back any memories??
The good news is (for me at least) early detection. I have no intention of leaving this earth any time soon and so far my diagnosis supports that feeling.
Subsequent blogs will include how I discovered the problem (not sure I like the word cancer) and how it will be dealt with. If you want to continue, you know where to find me, if not, that's okay too.
Wow! Four words I never thought would come from me.
I'm new to this blogging business. Some of you are experienced, please forgive my learning curve.
In the weeks to come I'll keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully, I'll also in some way educate you regarding breast cancer. It's all new to me too!
Fact number one. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death for women. Right behind skin cancer. So, you know those great tans we all love? ... forget 'em. Pale skin is healthy. But, hey, give me the baby oil and iodine! Bring back any memories??
The good news is (for me at least) early detection. I have no intention of leaving this earth any time soon and so far my diagnosis supports that feeling.
Subsequent blogs will include how I discovered the problem (not sure I like the word cancer) and how it will be dealt with. If you want to continue, you know where to find me, if not, that's okay too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)